TEEN PATHWAYS
Hi!
What's up? What are you talking about?
Oh, we were just talking about relationships and especially
the big one with God.
Oh! With my background and that, I was on the streets for 10
years and when I met God, I had spent my entire life looking for
an honest relationship, a good relationship, someone to care
about me and love me and I couldn't, I didn't find that
anywhere. In fact my parents were 14 and 16 years old.
Are you guys older?
Yeah.
My parents were 14 and 16 years old and I was their second child.
And so they didn't know how to love or give that and so
when I found God, when God found me and I understood
about love and who He was, I wanted a relationship so bad,
and I did not how to do it. I mean I just did not know how
to do it. But I knew that I wanted to. Does that make
sense? It's like I knew that I wanted to.
But I didn't know how. So anybody have any thoughts
about how to build a relationship with God?
Well, I think, I've been, I've grown up in a Christian family,
my parents have never been divorced or anything,
and I think it's easy to pray and ask for help when you need
something, but like just through the everyday things when you
don't need anything, I find that hard to like get the time
and to pray and stuff and I think that's really important.
To stay in contact.
Yeah.
My parents are divorced so it's important for me to have
a relationship with God, so, you know, like when my parents
got divorced, I just prayed to Him and looked up verses
in the Bible on divorce to try to make me feel better.
And that really helped me.
I have friend, whose parents recently, well not recently,
but a year ago got divorced and I think that after they had
got divorced, she had been really questioning God,
just kept on getting further and further away.
I think sometime, I mean, when I think about a relationship,
I think that and especially you're being alone with God,
we tend to separate our relationships with people,
and with God, like we'd look at Him differently and I think
that it's important that I've learned just the same way
that we build relationships with people, we talk to them
everyday, or we go and hang out with them, or you know,
talk with them and just find out like who they are and what they
are about, and so it's easier for me to look at my
relationship with God that way. You know, instead of focus on
that He's like the creator of the universe and He, you know,
just taking it down to that level.
Yeah, I can get on a level to me.
Yeah.
That was a great point. It was really funny to me when I first
met God and I first got into a Christian relationship
went to a Christian church and to a Christian setting,
I would listen to someone pray and I'd think: oh, that's how
you do it. And so then, I'd get on my knees and I was like:
dear Father, and you know, it was really funny, because
afterwards I thought, ok, I'm supposed to feel better now,
and it was so formal and I was really worried about what to
say, I even used: "bestow", for the first time in my life.
"Please, bestow your blessings on me" and I didn't know what
bestow actually meant.
If you talk to Him just like you talk to anyone else,
it's like so much easier and He still listens to you, no matter
like if you're just like talking to Him casually or you're
using these big, long, sophisticated words or whatever.
I was amazed at that. I just thought that this is got to be
the right way.
He's talking like you're His best friend.
And you look for that, too, like when you're looking for
a relationship with somebody like whether be a guy or a girl,
or your friend, I mean, you look for people that are real,
like you're looking for who they really are and, I mean God is
totally that the same way, you know, He wants you to be
real with Him, like how you really feel.
Yeah, you never have to worry about Him like betraying you
or like,
yeah.
It's cool.
I think the interesting thing about, about like prayer,
I remember we went on a trip to LA, a mission trip,
and I remember, one of our councellors was talking about
doing prayer not necessarily in the traditional way of
getting on your knees and folding your hands and closing
your eyes, but looking up to God, look up and talk to Him
like you would talk to, like you were saying, talk to your
friends, but just I found that if I'm just looking up,
it's different, than looking down, I feel like I'm talking
to Him. I feel respectful. It's not like I'm dishonoring
Him by doing that. But I do feel like, you know,
like He's looking down at me, which is cool.
You said that I remember a time that I was looking up and I
wanted to actually touch, it was like I wanted to, actually
touch something that was this sense of this realness.
And I think that I got that same feeling that it was real
and I was looking actually to God.
One of the neatest times I've ever prayed, I think it was
when I was out during a recess or something at school,
and I was just lying there, on my back,
and looking at the sky. And I just felt like I didn't say
anything, but I was praying to God just by looking up
into the sky lying on my back. Propably they were the best
feelings of warmth.
Just peaceful.
Incredible.
You know, sometimes I just think about how big the universe
is, like what's out there, there's not an end and if there
was a beginning, like what was before there was a beginnig,
you know, and like when I go to heaven, I just want to
ask God that, you know.
That's the coolest feeling to know that when you get there,
you'll just know everything, you can just ask Him whatever you
want. I think that's so cool.
Something like I took a school and there was just teaching
about prayer and they were talking about how to find that
place where it's a relationship, you know, just like you're
talking to His face. And they told us to, like at a time when
you're just up by yourself, praying, put a chair in front
of you and act like, you know, God is really sitting in that
chair, and you're looking at His face and you're talking to Him.
And I thought that's just stupid, you know, why would I
want to do that? And I did it, I tried it, it was so, like
He was right there and I was just talking to Him, you know,
like I talk to mom or I talk to my friend,
You even think about that right now. I think it would make me
nervous. I mean you think about God, the creator of the universe
sitting and looking into your eyes, I wouldn't know what to
say. Just sitting in that chair, imagining somebody sitting
there, it would make me nervous.
It reminds me of a story, I have to, there was, I was at
church one day and I was listening to someone talk about
what a Christian is and this person had some, really kind
of rules and he was like what a really Christian is,
and if you're not that, then you propably are not a Christian.
But I'm from the streets, a recovering heroin addicted
that have been lost and all that kind of stuff and so he was
saying that if you didn't do, that if you didn't, like
if you didn't read the Bible an hour every day, if you didn't
do this and if you didn't do that and if you didn't eat
the right thing, and by the time he was done, I was just so
wiped out and I felt like I would never be good enough
and I propably can't even come to God in prayer,
and it was the first time that I actually dropped all
the "Hello, Father" kind of things and really got into
you know, crying and I'm not going to make it,
and I don't know who I'm fooling and the relationship,
I think all of the sudden became very real,
because I did look to God as I'm dieing here and I don't know
what to do. And it was like, I just felt that same kind of
peace you were talking about, as if somebody was saying
and you know what He said to me, which I thought was
an incredible thing, is after the prayer, it was a long time,
for a long time, but He said, when I come back and this whole
thing was over, you're going to heaven, I will give you eye
contact, I'm not coming back for everyone, I'm not coming back
just to pick up a group of people, that you are my children
and I will love you and you and I will be looking at each
other and I thought of that again, when you said the chair,
sit in a chair, and everything in me, I thought: you will look
in my eyes? I was just amazed by that.
You know that the thing you sad about sitting in a chair,
I just kind of find that hard to think, you know, like
I've never done, I've never tried that, but, you know, like,
how could you tell, if He was talking back? I mean, I can't
hear Him talking back, it's just kind of hard for me to do it.
I think that comes like if you do that, you know, it's, I mean,
the whole relationship thing again, you know, you start out
and you set the chair there and then you just,
you know, it's just an example and at first, you know, like
you said you might be kind of scared, you know, I don't
want to look over there,
but it's like, it's a daily thing, you know, maybe the first
day you'd set the chair there and you just kind of be,
you know, looking in other direction and then tomorrow
you try it again and you'd kind of be: Hi!
Or you know, the next day you start and you get the sense
of and I think it's just builds, you know, and it's the
relationship you work on and you find out how it works and
it's getting to know who that other person is.
Do you think, Beth, I hear you were saying, not hearing God,
and there are times I don't hear God, but there are times it is
so clear to me and not that I hear an audible voice,
not that I hear: Well, Cheri, today I want you to,
but it's just that sense of knowing that it was God
and knowing it's God's direction. Do you know
what I mean?
Yes.
I have that feeling, you know, I had decided to go to an
Adventist academy, but I didn't know which one, and the one
that I wanted to go, I wanted to go close to home, b cause
I had financial problems, so I was just looking at a map,
and I was like: ok, academies are all over the country,
which one? And then a friend of mine said: Gern State
and I'm like: where's that? And he said Idaho,
and I said: Idaho? You've got to be kidding me.
It seems incredibly returning to that day, but I just felt
somebody was just saying: this is it. I don't care about
any other one, this is it, you're going to, this is
a crossroads and I want you take this road.
Because you have to take this road. And my parents,
theis said, they think: you picked up this because
it's far away from us, you want to run from us.
But it's just, it was just a feeling and that just scares
in me that there's someone who, this being like the
is holding the universe in the palm of His hand and decide that
you go to this school and it's going to change your life
for this reason. And this is why you do it and that's how a lot
of us do it.
It's amazing. I have, Jackie, my daughter is 7 years old,
well actually she's 8 years old today. So it's going to be
fun. Happy birthday, Jackie.
But she's 8 years old today and what was really fun for me,
we were talking about doing this scratchout and we put everything
together for this scratchout, she had all her, like old toys
all stuffed animals and things like that. We put them all in a
garage and she made 11$. And for a 7 year old to make
11$ is just an incredible thing. A cash.
And she was so excited, so I said, I said Jackie,
are you going to tithe some of that? And she said: well, yeah.
Of course. And I said: how much? I'm going to tithe 10 cents.
And I thought: huh! So 10% would actually be 1$,10,
and not 10 cents. And she looked at me and she said:
mom, that is just way too much.
She was serious, that was way too much. And so we ended up
talking a little bit about anything that you give to God,
kind of comes back to you and these kind of concepts,
and the next day we were walking back in the house from that
baseballgame, and there was a little tiny white sheet of paper
on the garage floor, and it was a kind of a squaire,
and it looked like, I thought: well that looks like some
some promicecads that I used to have years ago.
They were special promices from God, and you can open it
up, and it tells a little Bible scripture and a promice on it.
It was turned upside down, so I didn't know and I said: Jackie,
go and see what that is, I think it's of those promicecards,
and she runs over and she sees what it is and I said:
is the card for me or you? Because I always believed God
kind of puts things in your hand like that, and it is like
meant for you and she started laughing really hard:
and I said: what is it? And she said: it's about tithing.
Yes. And so then all the sudden the thought of God not only
talks to me, but talks to this 7 year old child, you know,
this is who I am and I really give it back and this is not,
you know and it just made me love God more. I think that the
more I understand about the relationship and the more
I understand how intimately involved He is in our lives,
the more it's easier for me to love and trust Him.
I just have the hardest time just like saying God I am
so unhappy, because I always felt like to be Christian,
you have to be happy all the time, and so when I felt down,
I was like ok, I'm likely a sinner and doing something
really wrong. And now when I look back on it,
like my mom would always just say: if you're angry, tell God,
because He already knows. What's on your mind, get it out,
and then He'll help you. Now it makes more sense,
but then I would just be like: I can't tell Him that,
because He would think that I don't trust Him or I'm mad
at Him, and something like that. I mean, what do you guys think?
I think, when I just think something bad or when I
act stupid or something, I have a hard time telling God also,
but I think it's really important to stay honest with
Him and stuff. I think that's an an other thing that's important
in building a relationship with God, to stay honest.
I think He totally, you know, He's looking for honesty,
because untill you come to the point where you can say how you
feel, you're not ready to change or deal with it or deal with
the answer or what the solution is and so when you go to Him
with honesty, whether that be anger or your hurt,
or I mean, even when you're happy, or with everything,
like, that it's like the next step or if it's anger,
He's like: ok, this is how you feel, He would bring an answer
maybe not an answer, but something for that time,
that will heal your hurt, and the answer will come later
or you know, whatever, but honesty, I think is so key,
I mean, like in a normal relationship with your best
friend, or with your parents, or with whatever, honesty
is like the key thing.
In relationships, yeah.
One thing I have discovered, though, we tend to tie
our relationship with God and a lot of times with how many
times we go to church, or if we're faithful, we're going to
church. And growing up in a Christian family,
and going to church on a regular basis, as I look back on it now,
it didn't really do much for me at all, mainly because a lot of
times I question my relationship with God, I ask myself:
where am I, really today? How do I compare myself
to the churchlady I see every day who seems to have
everything, everything going with her, understands everything
and always seems happy when I have to get up early in the
morning to go to church, I don't feel like I don't
feel like praising the Lord very much at all,
because it's too early for me. But I don't think it definitely
tie, you need to find it for yourself, I don't think
I miss or find myself, for myself totally.
I have a friend, Randy Maxwelm, does anybody know Him?
Yeah.
He wrote the book: "If my people would pray", and he is from this
incredible Christian family, born and raised in the church,
and he told me one time about his conversion story when he was
17 years old. And I thought: 17 years old? You know,
I know your parents, and I know you've been to church everyday
in your life, but God became real to him at 17 and
all the sudden became his relationship and his experience,
and I was wondering: has anybody felt that there's a time when
when your relationship with God goes from like going
to church everyday, because I have to, to this is my
relationship and what do I believe?
Go ahead.
We, like I, since I was 8 years old, I was going to church
and it was, it was a Sunday thing, I was on the weekends,
doing, you know, party and doing whatever, but it wasn't
untill after I graduated and I went to this programme:
"Youth for the mission". and even when I went,
I went with the intention of ok, a little bit more about God,
but my thought was: I'm getting awa from home, you know,
and this will be fun. And it was untill I got there and I started
going to the classes and God began to reveal Himself and
I started my relationship with Jesus, it wasn't untill then,
that I feel like I really conversion, what's the
word that you used?
So He became real then.
Yeah.
Did something happen? I mean I know that you went to
the classes and you heard different things.
I think, I mean for me it was in church I grew up and
and you learn about, you know, different Bible stories,
and stuff like that, but I think I was at a point where
I was really looking for something that was different
than the story book: Jesus that you hear about, you know,
the guy that was back and made wine and broke the bread
and stuff, but it was like put before me in a way that
He was a person that was for today, He's for now and He's
for what's going on in your life right now and where
you're at, and He actually had a plan and stuff for me to do.
You know, like there wa stuff that He had, that He was waiting
for me, to kind of say: oh, you mean, you're in my life right
now and not, you know back in the Bible, with Moses.
And so He's an interesting person in the way that he was
presented to me, He is an interesting person, like He's
somebody that I would want to get to know. He is somebody
that I want to get to know.
Oh, that's cool. With me it was little different.
I've been Adventist all my life. And my dad so we had generations
back and I was always presented that God was God and that
you're supposed to love Him, you're supposed to do this,
you're supposed to do that, and after a while I started
to think: what if He isn't real? What if if it isn't Him?
and I kind of played a role, like at home and at school
I was like Jesus is real, but but in my heart, I was,
I was like a mask, I was like He propably doesn't even exist.
And this is just a big show for me to be good,
and this is the way my mom always said give me not being
bad and I groove not. I was like this is fake.
and then I felt horrible. And finally I was like 13 or 14,
I was just sitting in my room, thinking and it wasn't like
He said: I am real, get over it! Or something like that
but I just got this feeling like if I'm not real,
then what makes you think you are real? And why aren't you
just someone's figuring up their imagination? Why aren't
you just, this could be a carpit box, you're just sitting on it,
and there are holes and that's where you see the stars. That's
what could be real. And I'm just scared and that's me and I'm
like: ok, you're real. I believe it. I'll go and I'll
find out, ok. Since I don't know, I mean I learned the
stuff in the Bible and I was like: yeah, but I didn't really
learn it in my heart, so I was like: ok, I'll prove it
you're not real. So I started reading upon it and I was like:
ok, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you are real.
Which is cool, because I felt the same way. It almost makes
you, for a long time I was really wondering if God was
real, if the whole picture of christianity was real.
But you know, when you're growing up, you tend to think
a lot of things, for a period of time I thought everybody
around me was actually alien I was the only real person
and I go up and touch people and I: wait a minute!
That's stupid, yes they are real. See, you got to find it
out for yourself, you've got to do it yourself.
You can't be fed to be a Christian yourself.
And then I really am an alien.
You've got to prove, you can't just He's just real.
And just go on a regular life. You have to prove it yourself
and you go in the book and you have to pray to Him,
you have to talk to Him, say; this says that You're real,
tell me you're real, and just love to talk, because He talks,
I mean He isn't like: Winter, you will do this.
But He uses His own special crazy ways and He can do it
to anybody. I mean He talked to me, you know.
My husband was, when we got married, he wasn't a Christian
and so he ends up telling me that God is so important in my
life, because of that where I came from and the transformation,
and so he, Brad was saying: how do I find God? How do I know
God is real? And so I told him why don't you pray that God
show you that He's real? And so Brad says: well, ok,
and so he just kind of kept that in the back of his mind
to pray about that and show me that You're real,
and so one day he was out golfing. He kicked the ball
and it just went right into, like this weeded area and it was
just like lost. He thought it was lost forever. And Brad
is a really serious golfer, so the first time He prayed:
Lord, please help me find my golfball. And he said it was
so strange, because he felt a smile. And he looked down
and a ball was right by his foot. And he came home
and he was like this little kid: guess what!
God did answer my prayer and he told me the story about
the golf ball and I thought: you're going to be an easy one.
If He just has to find your golfball and that's how it was.
It's great!
But isn't that, doesn't that say that God has such a sense
of humor to us? Here's something.
Go ahead.
I was just going to say I can imagine He looks down on us
and laughs at us quite a bit.
Yes.
I mean, we, yeah, not necessarily, I mean, because
sometimes we can be idiots, we can, you know, the times
when you think something and you kind of smack yourself and
What am I thinking, you know, I'm sure, I'm sure He laughs,
because we are His children, you know. It's just cool.
It's fun.
Sometimes when I was younger, I always had the impression
that God was this huge being, I mean if He is the perfect
everything, then I will get things that we need to bring
out in our characters, He has like 50 billion times better,
so like this is humorous, pretty corny, so He he has, He is
more humorous a way better than I.
I don't know, yours is pretty good, I think.
Thanks.
You see, it just seems kind of cool that we are like, He is the
person that you really do want to get to know, because He's
a lot better than anyone on this earth ever could be,
yeah, they talk to look it back.
I was thinking about something. And Shanni I was thinking about,
I know that you are at the beginning of a relationship.
And I wonder this that what do you think about what was being,
is being talked and when people talk about God and being
in the relationship, and being in the relationship since
they came out of the womb? Almost. Do you have any thoughts
on that?
I was excited to be at the point where everybody else is,
I can't, you know, it seems like everybody just talks about
it's just kind of boastful thing and I guess kind of like I'm
really how I am supposed to ask God to find my golfball.
And you know, that I think that sometimes I think that
on different places, like I used to believe that God would answer
my prayers when I look good enough or when I wore the right
clothes or when I ate the right things, or when I could sit right
and all that kind of thing, and I was so pressured, because I
never made it through, I thought that if I could just do it
24 hour period that it would that it would be, that He
would answer my prayer and one day I just realized
that I can't do this and I was crying, and I was praying
and I was saying I'll never be good enough, and God showed
me a picture of myself when I overdosed on heroine
and I died and I died with a group of drug addicts
and they attempted to do CPR and if you only see something
ridiculous, that was a ridiculous thing.
And so everybody was high and trying to do CPR and they got
some ice out of the refrigerator and put ice all over my body
and then realized that I was still not coming back,
and they were trying to do breathing, drugged me in
the shower and put the shower on and when you die, most people
don't know this, but you loose blood and bloodcontrol and then
you throw out so it wasn't like a pretty picture at all,
it's just mess, and so in the middle of this prayer I thought
oh, now I feel better, thank you. And so, but what He said,
it was very clear, He said to me, you know, Cheri I want you
to know, that I loved you just as much when you were laying
on that shower floor, overdosed on heroine, as I love you now,
when you're trying to figure out what to do and the right thing
to do. And I realized all the sudden that it wasn't
a behavioural thing at all, it was God loves me because
I'm created in His image and I'm His child, and the fact
that I don't know what to do most of the time and the fact
that I'm not sure even how to pray, I'm not sure how to sit
how to stand and what to eat, God says that's not the issue,
I'm crazy about you, you are my child and I just want
a relationship that is real, and honest and one that I can
count on that you will be there and come to me and spend
time with Me. So, remember, when you are looking for
a relationship with God, God is only a prayer away.
Thank you for joining us.