1 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:10,710 TEEN PATHWAYS 2 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,725 Hi! 3 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,525 What's up? 4 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,645 Just hanging out talking about getting real. 5 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,400 Huh! Getting real! My name is Cheri Peters and I want to 6 00:00:29,435 --> 00:00:33,120 welcome you to Teen Patways. And before we talk about that, 7 00:00:33,155 --> 00:00:36,147 I'd like people to meet everybody here today. 8 00:00:36,182 --> 00:00:39,140 So can we say who we are and where you're from? 9 00:00:39,175 --> 00:00:40,945 Gavin, can we start with you? 10 00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:45,230 Yeah. My name's Gavin, Gavin Sailsbery 11 00:00:45,265 --> 00:00:48,037 and I'm from Yakima, Washington. 12 00:00:48,072 --> 00:00:50,810 Any courty thing about yourself? 13 00:00:50,845 --> 00:00:53,805 I sleep on my side. 14 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:58,010 Ok. My name is Paddy McCoy, and I go to Walla walla College 15 00:00:58,045 --> 00:01:01,075 which is in Walla walla Washington which is the home 16 00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:04,910 of the Walla walla sweet onions. And you see me how many times 17 00:01:04,945 --> 00:01:06,175 I can say Walla walla. 18 00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:10,425 I am Jessica Anguiano and I'm from Texas. 19 00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:14,455 I'm Jackie Ravine and I'm also from Walla walla College 20 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:17,450 where the onionse are so sweet you can eat them like apples. 21 00:01:17,485 --> 00:01:23,450 My name is Cari Chenoweth and I'm from Medford, Oregon 22 00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:25,975 and I don't like onions. 23 00:01:26,010 --> 00:01:31,880 My name is Jason Henry and I live in Sweet Home, Oregon, 24 00:01:31,915 --> 00:01:33,265 not Sweet Home Alabama. 25 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:37,640 And I'm just kind of taking a little vacation from school 26 00:01:37,675 --> 00:01:40,520 working up in towns. 27 00:01:40,555 --> 00:01:41,475 Excellent! 28 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:45,500 I am glad you're here. I've met everybody from doing youth 29 00:01:45,535 --> 00:01:47,035 yvalleys throughout the United States we've met 30 00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:51,080 most of you guys, and you know, Paddy and Jackie you have 31 00:01:51,115 --> 00:01:53,220 a skid on being real. Can we do that skid? 32 00:01:53,255 --> 00:01:54,340 Yes, sure. 33 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,275 Ok. 34 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:56,005 We need you guys as help though. 35 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,120 Yeah. See we have this nice colourful little buzzer. 36 00:01:59,155 --> 00:02:01,110 And everytime one of us presses this buzzer, 37 00:02:01,145 --> 00:02:03,802 we need you guys to say: get real! 38 00:02:03,837 --> 00:02:06,460 So I think you should practice. 39 00:02:06,495 --> 00:02:06,960 Try at once. Ready? 40 00:02:06,995 --> 00:02:08,392 Ready? 41 00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,755 Get real! 42 00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:12,820 You listen next time but that was ok. 43 00:02:12,855 --> 00:02:15,540 We can do it. 44 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:24,300 Excuse me! Excuse me, is this chair taken? 45 00:02:24,335 --> 00:02:27,215 Yes, it is. 46 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:30,290 It's funny, I don't see anyone sitting in the chair 47 00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,880 can I ask who it's taken by? 48 00:02:31,915 --> 00:02:33,912 My dad dog. 49 00:02:33,947 --> 00:02:35,875 Get real! 50 00:02:35,910 --> 00:02:37,670 My dad grandmother. 51 00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,505 Get real! 52 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:42,230 My imaginary friend, Franky. 53 00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:44,375 Get real! 54 00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:46,595 No one really. Go ahead! Have a seat! 55 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:52,720 Thanks. Ah! I was kind of hoping you and I can get 56 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:53,340 a little closer. 57 00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:55,535 Get real! 58 00:02:55,570 --> 00:02:58,020 Thanks, my feet are killing me. 59 00:02:58,055 --> 00:02:59,175 Yeah. 60 00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:02,375 So you're waiting for the no. 3 bus? 61 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:05,540 Yeah, I am waiting for the no. 3 bus. 62 00:03:05,575 --> 00:03:06,695 You? 63 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:10,250 No, I don't take buses. They're for weird girls like you. 64 00:03:10,285 --> 00:03:11,525 Get real! 65 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:16,080 Yeah, actually I don't take buses, because they're for 66 00:03:16,115 --> 00:03:16,850 environmental goons. 67 00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:17,855 Get real! 68 00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:20,430 Yeah, I take buses all the time, but if I'm in environment. 69 00:03:20,465 --> 00:03:23,965 Yeah. 70 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,655 So what are you reading there? 71 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:30,180 Well, actually, if you must know,I'm reading my Bible. 72 00:03:30,215 --> 00:03:31,525 Why? 73 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,755 Just curious. 74 00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:38,220 So you know what? You look a little familiar to me. 75 00:03:38,255 --> 00:03:40,135 Is your last name Julet? 76 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:42,430 Because you look like the best a man could get. 77 00:03:42,465 --> 00:03:44,205 Get real! 78 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,025 So what are you reading? 79 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,130 Actually, I'm reading my Bible. 80 00:03:49,165 --> 00:03:50,205 Why? 81 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,860 Just curious, really. 82 00:03:51,895 --> 00:03:53,625 oh! 83 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,060 See you know what? You look a little familiar. 84 00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:57,560 Do you attend a plane to your church? 85 00:03:57,595 --> 00:03:59,125 Yeah! I do. 86 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,330 I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. Allow me to introduce 87 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,340 myself. My name's Tom. Tom Sallick. 88 00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:04,815 Get real! 89 00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:07,030 Leonardo Di Caprio. 90 00:04:07,065 --> 00:04:10,215 Get real! 91 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,980 My name's Bill. Bill Smith. 92 00:04:12,015 --> 00:04:12,645 Hi! 93 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,100 Hi! let me see if I remember your name correctly 94 00:04:15,135 --> 00:04:16,825 it was Buffy, right? 95 00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:20,005 Ah, Well, Betty. it's ok. Betty. 96 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,140 I chop names sometimes. That was Betty Farfeitnugen. 97 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:26,485 Betty Fignieven. 98 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,640 I always do this. I'm sorry, it's a pleasure to meet you, 99 00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:31,682 Miss Fignigen. it was an accident. 100 00:04:31,717 --> 00:04:34,690 Yeah, the pleasure's all yours. 101 00:04:34,725 --> 00:04:37,595 Get real! 102 00:04:37,630 --> 00:04:38,365 Please get away from me. 103 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,185 It's nice to meet you, too, Bill. 104 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,790 So do you go to the plane to your church? 105 00:04:44,825 --> 00:04:47,325 Well, actually I haven't been there a while. 106 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,140 But I picked up a newsletter there and I saw your picture 107 00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:52,735 inside so that's how.. 108 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,005 oh, that silly little thing! 109 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,140 Silly is about right. If I was a dead dog. 110 00:04:56,175 --> 00:04:59,895 Get real! 111 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:00,815 That silly little thing! 112 00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:02,860 Yeah, you look much nicer in person. 113 00:05:02,895 --> 00:05:04,792 Ok. Have me! 114 00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:06,655 Get real! 115 00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:08,375 You look much nicer in person. 116 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:12,590 Thanks, thanks. So why don't you go to the plane in your church 117 00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:13,525 anymore? 118 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:18,340 Well, to tell you the truth, because God told me to never 119 00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,500 to never go to church again! 120 00:05:19,535 --> 00:05:20,905 Get real! 121 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:24,700 Well, it's because I think the preacher has 666 tattoo 122 00:05:24,735 --> 00:05:25,580 on his forehead. 123 00:05:25,615 --> 00:05:26,365 Huh! 124 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,365 Get real! 125 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,710 It's because I don't feel that I'm accepted there anymore. 126 00:05:31,745 --> 00:05:34,565 Oh! Why on earth don't you feel accepted? 127 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,995 That's a long story, but I kind of made some mistakes. 128 00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:42,800 and ever since then I just feel like the members are treating 129 00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:44,135 me differently. 130 00:05:44,170 --> 00:05:45,930 Come on! What could you do that it made you unworthier 131 00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:48,205 to fellowship with Christians of all people? 132 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:53,490 I guess I kind of messed up with drugs for a while. 133 00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:56,835 And I lost everything that I had. 134 00:05:56,870 --> 00:06:00,170 Oh! Well, then you shouldn't go to church, you sinner! 135 00:06:00,205 --> 00:06:02,047 Get real! 136 00:06:02,082 --> 00:06:03,466 Drug addict! 137 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:04,815 Get real! 138 00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:06,440 Well I'm really sorry to hear that. 139 00:06:06,475 --> 00:06:09,965 So what did they do to you? 140 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,125 Basically they shut the doors on me. 141 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,070 I mean I know I made some mistakes, I hurt a lot of 142 00:06:17,105 --> 00:06:20,945 people, But God's forgiven me I know in my heart 143 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,050 That God's forgiven me, I just wish that the church was 144 00:06:23,085 --> 00:06:25,095 was as forgiving as God is. 145 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:28,660 Yeah, see it's a hard one. Because we find it so hard 146 00:06:28,695 --> 00:06:29,475 to forgive each other. 147 00:06:29,510 --> 00:06:32,250 But we expect God to forgive us so easily. 148 00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:34,135 Is there anything I can do? 149 00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:38,740 Well, honestly? I could use a date. 150 00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:40,165 Get real! 151 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,270 How about just a kiss? 152 00:06:42,305 --> 00:06:43,895 Get real! 153 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:47,350 Honestly? I could use a good friend. 154 00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:49,945 now that I can do. 155 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,985 Thanks Betty. So what's your story? 156 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,715 I mean why are you so involved with the church? 157 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:59,010 Well, you know? I just really enjoy having a personal ministry 158 00:06:59,045 --> 00:06:59,757 with Jesus. 159 00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:00,435 Really? 160 00:07:00,470 --> 00:07:04,970 Doesn't that ever get hard? I can understand that. 161 00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:07,775 But don't you just want to quit, give it up? 162 00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:10,840 Oh, totally. It's really though sometimes. When I'm at my 163 00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,870 weakest, God, He's strongest and He really seems to help me 164 00:07:13,905 --> 00:07:15,735 out in those times. 165 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:19,980 How is it though that, well, let me ask you a personal 166 00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,060 question. 167 00:07:21,095 --> 00:07:22,255 No. 168 00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:23,405 Get real! 169 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,880 No way! 170 00:07:24,915 --> 00:07:25,962 Get real! 171 00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:27,543 Maybe?! 172 00:07:27,578 --> 00:07:29,090 Get real! 173 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:35,090 Are you, are you married? 174 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:36,665 Get real! 175 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:37,700 Are you dating? 176 00:07:37,735 --> 00:07:39,645 Get real! 177 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,250 Do you think that I am cute? 178 00:07:41,285 --> 00:07:45,847 Get real! 179 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:49,071 Ok. Ah, 180 00:07:49,106 --> 00:07:52,225 Get real! 181 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,210 I didn't even finished what I wanted to say! 182 00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:55,170 I know what you were going to say. 183 00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:57,945 Ok. 184 00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:03,380 Ok. Well, how is it that you get real, I mean how you 185 00:08:03,415 --> 00:08:05,365 get on a level with people and with God? 186 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,885 Well, God tried to be involved in my life for a long time. 187 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,335 But I didn't let Him. and it wasn't unill I, as you say 188 00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:15,910 got real, that I was able to do that. And that just took looking 189 00:08:15,945 --> 00:08:18,715 at what was outside of me, maybe that's the church 190 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:21,630 for you where people are involved with hostilities toward you 191 00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:24,452 and they're unforgiving, or for me it was problems 192 00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:27,205 with my family and some of the outside influences in 193 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,470 my life, and looking at what was inside of me and knowing 194 00:08:30,505 --> 00:08:31,900 that that is what was important with my relationship 195 00:08:31,935 --> 00:08:34,545 with God. Inside and God. 196 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,085 And so that's what it took to get real. 197 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,440 That's great Betty, I really admire your devotion. 198 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:44,100 oh, there's no. 3 bus. 199 00:08:44,135 --> 00:08:44,835 Yeah. 200 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,225 I guess you'd better get going. 201 00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,560 well, it was really nice to meet you Bill. 202 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,240 Oh it was nice meeting you. 203 00:08:50,275 --> 00:08:51,465 Thank you. 204 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,720 Yeah, maybe I'll see you at church on Saturday? 205 00:08:52,755 --> 00:08:55,490 Not a snowball's chance. 206 00:08:55,525 --> 00:08:57,765 Get real. 207 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,665 I'll be there. 208 00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,495 Excellent! 209 00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:04,050 Al right. Thanks a lot. 210 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,435 Thanks. 211 00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:08,950 It's interesting to me because of the background I came from, 212 00:09:08,985 --> 00:09:12,317 I was on the streets and I didn't have anybody in my 213 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:15,650 life from my early childhood in the years that I was on 214 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,425 the streets and homeless that was real. 215 00:09:17,460 --> 00:09:20,225 That was real that everybody had their agenda. 216 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,475 And so I get saved and I meet God and it was so incredible 217 00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:26,690 to me because it was the first time I felt like something was 218 00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,800 real in my life. God was not only real, but my life 219 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,615 was changing and it was every promice He made, 220 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:36,530 He came through and so somebody said: wait till you meet your 221 00:09:36,565 --> 00:09:38,575 family. And now it was like your church family. 222 00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:41,505 Waiting till you meet your church family and I stepped into the 223 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:44,400 church expecting everybody to be real and everybody to be honest 224 00:09:44,435 --> 00:09:47,285 and everybody to be loving. And I was so crushed 225 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,890 and so when you do that kind of skid, it makes me think 226 00:09:50,925 --> 00:09:53,695 how important is it for us to be real. 227 00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:56,995 How important is it as a group, a churchgroup for us to be real. 228 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,260 and so what do you guys think? What do you think of the skid? 229 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:06,095 We always like to show off. 230 00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:12,495 It's interesting, because that scene actually came from 231 00:10:12,530 --> 00:10:15,760 part of it came from me. Having friends that I've talked to, 232 00:10:15,795 --> 00:10:19,147 who would not, I've tried to invite them to the church with 233 00:10:19,182 --> 00:10:22,500 me but who wouldn't go, because they would wear something that 234 00:10:22,535 --> 00:10:24,455 may be they didn't feel like was acceptable. 235 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,870 They would walk in to church and people were just staring at them. 236 00:10:27,905 --> 00:10:29,940 and even though they felt like that's who they were, 237 00:10:29,975 --> 00:10:31,550 they were trying to figure out who they were, 238 00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:34,195 nobody was really accepting of that. 239 00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:37,285 And so I struggle with that, with my friends and how 240 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,060 I talked to my friends so I'd like to hear what you, guys 241 00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:42,595 what your reaction is. 242 00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:48,305 I attended a wedding not too long ago, and so I got in 243 00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:52,060 we were only familiar, and I realised that this was the guy 244 00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:56,332 I went to schoolwith about 7th grade in a Christian school, 245 00:10:56,367 --> 00:11:00,570 in Washington and we used to we had a long bus ride together 246 00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:03,417 and so we had a lot of time to talk and we lost touch 247 00:11:03,452 --> 00:11:06,230 over the years though and I walked up to him and I said 248 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:10,512 I basically tried to remind him who I was, 249 00:11:10,547 --> 00:11:14,725 and He's: oh, yeah, Jake I remember you 250 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,155 we used to draw all those pictures, but I had a hard time 251 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:21,550 recognizing him at first because he looked so much different. 252 00:11:21,585 --> 00:11:26,260 He had a long hair and earrrings long black trench coat, 253 00:11:26,295 --> 00:11:30,225 the whole image thing was there and the goatie 254 00:11:30,260 --> 00:11:35,835 but as I talked to him, I started picking up on the 255 00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:41,410 this little vibes that he had been through a lot, 256 00:11:41,445 --> 00:11:44,940 since then, and he ended up telling me later 257 00:11:44,975 --> 00:11:46,545 he hadn't been in church a long time, 258 00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:50,800 and I gathered as much that it was because he had been 259 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,985 going through some things and the people in the church 260 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:59,890 just had a hard time seeing this boy that used to be so perfect 261 00:11:59,925 --> 00:12:03,452 going through these changes, they had a hard time accepting 262 00:12:03,487 --> 00:12:06,945 that than just going through these changes with him and 263 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,650 helping him. And now his image is kind of what scared people 264 00:12:10,685 --> 00:12:16,157 off after that. And it was like this prediction or whatever. 265 00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:21,630 So, yeah, outside does make it difficult, I guess for some 266 00:12:21,665 --> 00:12:22,255 people. 267 00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:24,150 It's interesting, because I hear from that point of view 268 00:12:24,185 --> 00:12:25,715 somebody that had been in the church and has 269 00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:28,085 left and somebody that has been kind of judged by 270 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,385 their behaviour, whether they get into drugs, 271 00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:34,365 but I had never been in the church and everybody can 272 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:38,310 relate to this place, I have never been in the church 273 00:12:38,345 --> 00:12:40,575 I was a heroin addict, I was a drugaddict, 274 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:43,010 I didn't know how to dress, I didn't know how to look, 275 00:12:43,045 --> 00:12:46,297 my makeup was on too heavy, I had rotten teeth, 276 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,431 and I had a great tendency I tell you that, 277 00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:52,188 but I had all this stuff and so when I came in, 278 00:12:52,223 --> 00:12:54,356 and I was 90 pounds, because of all the drugs 279 00:12:54,391 --> 00:12:56,760 and all the damage and so when I came in, 280 00:12:56,795 --> 00:12:59,095 the only thing I realized, almost right away, 281 00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:02,155 is that you guys were not that accepting of each other, 282 00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:04,915 so I couldn't say anything about what I was struggling 283 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,305 with and what I was dealing with and it was so hard, 284 00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:09,660 because I needed to stand up and say to somebody 285 00:13:09,695 --> 00:13:12,125 I am so afraid and I don't know what to do. 286 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,460 And yet the first lesson I learned is don't tell anyone 287 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:20,505 because you may not get accepted. 288 00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:23,750 That's what usually you said it often as you know keep your 289 00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:26,960 mouth quiet, don't let anybody know, but then you know, 290 00:13:26,995 --> 00:13:29,505 it's just more a personal conflict inner self 291 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:32,495 and it just doesn't go anywhere, but I learnd that 292 00:13:32,530 --> 00:13:37,750 if I accept me for what I am, then other people start you 293 00:13:37,785 --> 00:13:40,575 and because I'm ok with it. 294 00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:43,900 And I want to say Gavin that you have more a similar background 295 00:13:43,935 --> 00:13:46,857 to me, as far as streets and drugs and that kind of thing, 296 00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:49,780 and I mean this in a nice way, a little bit of a disfunctional 297 00:13:49,815 --> 00:13:55,530 family. But you know, what's so do you get to share that 298 00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:58,992 do you feel that you can share that with people? 299 00:13:59,027 --> 00:14:03,038 With my father and with my brothers, everybody else, 300 00:14:03,073 --> 00:14:07,050 I look at this kind of like they accept me for who I am 301 00:14:07,085 --> 00:14:08,595 and not for who they're going to try to make me, 302 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:11,580 do you guys feel like that? I can't hang around them, 303 00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:14,495 they're going to change the way I look at things, 304 00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:18,480 they're going to form my opinions and I'm not into that. 305 00:14:18,515 --> 00:14:23,395 It's: I am different than you, accept it! 306 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:27,775 And I think that I hear what you're saying, is that 307 00:14:27,810 --> 00:14:30,790 what I took on, is I felt like everybody had this little 308 00:14:30,825 --> 00:14:32,835 picture of what a Christian should be, 309 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:34,950 and that they wanted me to have the picture in front of me 310 00:14:34,985 --> 00:14:37,895 and be that. 311 00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:40,870 For a long time I played that. and I did do what was 312 00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:43,545 expected of me, but my heart wasn't into it. 313 00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:47,340 I treaded every second that I had to set firm in the church, 314 00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:51,020 and it wanted to push me farther away from God 315 00:14:51,055 --> 00:14:52,785 and they didn't know. 316 00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:57,275 They were oblivious to the fact that I was running 317 00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:01,695 I was there in body, but not in mind, not in heart. 318 00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,030 And so behind they were forcing me to do this behind their back. 319 00:15:05,065 --> 00:15:08,750 So you found that you had to hide. 320 00:15:08,785 --> 00:15:10,132 I did. I did have to hide. 321 00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:11,445 And do you think you cared? 322 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,845 Yeah, I agree with Gavin, you need to accept yourself 323 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,710 before others can accept you and I have a poem that I keep in 324 00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:24,010 my Bible that tells me how to accept yourself 325 00:15:24,045 --> 00:15:26,327 and it's called: "The paintbrush". 326 00:15:26,362 --> 00:15:28,575 It's by Betty Youngs and it says: 327 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:31,725 "I keep my paintbrush with me wherever I may go. 328 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,100 In case I need to cover up, so the real me doesn't show. 329 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,405 I'm so afraid to show you me, afraid of what you'll do. 330 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,740 That you might laugh or say me things. I'm afraid I might loose 331 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,700 you. 332 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:44,310 I'd like to remove all my paintcoats 333 00:15:44,345 --> 00:15:45,975 to show you the real true me, 334 00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:48,000 but I want you to try and understand 335 00:15:48,035 --> 00:15:49,955 I need you to accept what you see. 336 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,450 And so if you'll be patient and close your eyes, 337 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,447 I'll strip of all my coats real so, 338 00:15:54,482 --> 00:15:56,410 please understand how much it hurts 339 00:15:56,445 --> 00:15:57,755 to let the real me show. 340 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,170 Now my coats are all stripped off 341 00:16:00,205 --> 00:16:01,505 I feel naked, bare and cold 342 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,660 And if you still love me with all that you see, 343 00:16:03,695 --> 00:16:05,335 you are my friend peer's gold. 344 00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:08,525 I need to save my paintbrush still and hold it in my hand. 345 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,680 I want to keep it handy in case someone doesn't understand. 346 00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:13,905 So, please protect me, my dear friend 347 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:17,310 And thanks for loving me true, But please let me keep my 348 00:16:17,345 --> 00:16:20,147 paintbrush with me until I love me, too. " 349 00:16:20,182 --> 00:16:22,411 To me when I think of something like that, 350 00:16:22,446 --> 00:16:24,605 is that I think of a lot of people that I meet 351 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,860 from environments that have so much pain and so much stuff, 352 00:16:29,895 --> 00:16:34,620 and I pray that that will go real enough, 353 00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:36,655 so that we can let them be real. 354 00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:40,805 I met a pastor that had a drinking problem, 355 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:45,010 and he ended up relapsing and he's still the pastor of 356 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:48,437 a church. And he said: "I couldn't share with anybody, 357 00:16:48,472 --> 00:16:51,795 I couldn't tell anybody, because they would fire me, 358 00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:54,920 they would kick me out. " And I thought: this is a guy that 359 00:16:54,955 --> 00:16:57,572 nurtures an entire church. And he couldn't share with 360 00:16:57,607 --> 00:17:00,243 anybody. So he got worse and worse and the more he tried 361 00:17:00,278 --> 00:17:02,829 to hide, the more he got in trouble. And he ended up going 362 00:17:02,864 --> 00:17:05,380 out to a bar and drinking and one night he got so drunk, 363 00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,765 that he couldn't get in his car and drive home, 364 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,195 so he gets in his car and he sleeps, he falls asleep. 365 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,355 He didn't wake up till the next morning, he wakes up the next 366 00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:16,480 morning, he gets in his car, I mean in his car, he starts 367 00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:18,245 to drive his car home and he's still drunk, 368 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,525 and he's going down the street and he's trying to manover 369 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,430 his car, because he's so drunk, and he sees these orange 370 00:17:24,465 --> 00:17:28,337 columns in the road, he manovers around orange columns, 371 00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:32,210 and ends up in this city parade. And so now he's drunk, 372 00:17:32,245 --> 00:17:33,905 and in the city parade they arrest him, 373 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:38,100 for dunk driving, an attorney got him down in the attempt of 374 00:17:38,135 --> 00:17:40,565 driving,nobody from the church still found out. 375 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,430 Nobody found out. He hid it still, he didn't talk to anybody 376 00:17:43,465 --> 00:17:47,300 still and ended up going to AA. So now he joined AA 377 00:17:47,335 --> 00:17:50,025 the people in the Alcoholics Anonimus 378 00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:53,310 helped him, got him back on his feet now he's a pastor again. 379 00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:56,560 He still has not told anybody. The only reason he told me, 380 00:17:56,595 --> 00:17:59,185 is, I'm so trash, people tell me everything. 381 00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:02,595 So the only reason he told me was that. And so I thought 382 00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:07,620 can we be real enough that we can share those kind of struggles 383 00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:10,690 with each other, so we don't have to dive into a pit, 384 00:18:10,725 --> 00:18:13,925 first. I mean.. 385 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,785 It seems like it's a self perpetuating problem 386 00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:20,675 that we deal with. It's something that keeps making 387 00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:24,335 itself go on in that. It's so easy for us who have been 388 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:27,925 on the fringe. I, too was from a non Christian background, 389 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,670 and I walked into the church, and the first thing I thought of, 390 00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:34,065 it was like somebody held up a mirror to me. 391 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,800 And said: this is what you look like. And this is what we 392 00:18:37,835 --> 00:18:42,595 look like. There's the difference. But it's so easy 393 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:45,420 for us who have been on the outside to say: yeah, I didn't 394 00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:47,662 feel accepted, or I felt like the Christians, 395 00:18:47,697 --> 00:18:49,835 or the people at the church weren't accepting me 396 00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:53,920 and didn't love me for who I was and I had to hide and 397 00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:56,372 that's not very true. On the other side there's 398 00:18:56,407 --> 00:18:58,755 a responsibility that we seem to evade also, 399 00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:03,865 where our job is to ask, is to also like peel away 400 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:08,240 the label of all the bad parts of the label of Christian 401 00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:10,585 and say that's a human, they're human, 402 00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:14,350 at their heart. And so that seems to be like as far as like 403 00:19:14,385 --> 00:19:17,867 getting real with who I am and being able to be accepted 404 00:19:17,902 --> 00:19:21,261 in the church, starts with what Carrie said and starts with 405 00:19:21,296 --> 00:19:24,620 what Gavin said. That means I have to be able to be as human 406 00:19:24,655 --> 00:19:26,305 as I am to myself and accept myself. 407 00:19:26,340 --> 00:19:29,580 And do the same for others. Look at the church and be able 408 00:19:29,615 --> 00:19:32,820 to pull away the label of what a Christian organization can 409 00:19:32,855 --> 00:19:35,780 be and recognize that they're human people, too. 410 00:19:35,815 --> 00:19:36,895 And be real with them. 411 00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:40,110 It's interesting, too, being when it's growing up in 412 00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:44,990 a Christian home. Sorry. 413 00:19:45,025 --> 00:19:46,722 I did, it's true. 414 00:19:46,757 --> 00:19:48,385 And he invited you? 415 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:52,170 I'll go. No, it's interesting, because to be on the other side 416 00:19:52,205 --> 00:19:56,710 of it, is, I've grown up around people, including myself, 417 00:19:56,745 --> 00:19:59,675 who you just struggle to open yourself up 418 00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:03,055 to sharing, because part of you knows that if you do that, 419 00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:05,650 then you're really connected, be really connected to that 420 00:20:05,685 --> 00:20:08,572 church, you're really going to have involvment to that 421 00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,460 people that they are around you. And so there's just fear, 422 00:20:11,495 --> 00:20:13,435 that if I really share my weaknesses, 423 00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:17,375 and I really let somebody in, then I'm going to really have 424 00:20:17,410 --> 00:20:21,640 to be accountable to this place. And I look at the world around us 425 00:20:21,675 --> 00:20:24,515 and it's so pulling us away from each other, 426 00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:28,770 with our emails and internet, and we could sit in our office 427 00:20:28,805 --> 00:20:32,262 and use a computer and never really talk to anyone. 428 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:35,720 But communicate with thousands of people in some form. 429 00:20:35,755 --> 00:20:37,495 But we really never actually connect, 430 00:20:37,530 --> 00:20:41,040 because we're so far removed. And I see that filtering into 431 00:20:41,075 --> 00:20:44,550 our churches where you look at the New Testament model, 432 00:20:44,585 --> 00:20:47,465 and it's all about accountability in family. 433 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:50,530 They got together in small groups they met by the rivers 434 00:20:50,565 --> 00:20:51,195 and that's where church was. 435 00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:52,725 Just do off in each others lives. 436 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,600 It wasn't in a building, it was just because they met together 437 00:20:55,635 --> 00:20:58,227 wherever they met together, that's where they had church. 438 00:20:58,262 --> 00:21:00,820 So does that mean we should be as involved in each others' 439 00:21:00,855 --> 00:21:01,795 lives as possible? 440 00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:06,080 I think that it means that as we break our walls down and 441 00:21:06,115 --> 00:21:08,345 we share our weaknesses, we become stronger, 442 00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:11,560 and it's a force that I think it needs to happen, 443 00:21:11,595 --> 00:21:13,675 it's a force that we don't even understand, 444 00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:16,320 because I think that's really when the Spirit comes in 445 00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:18,405 is when we can like go. 446 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,435 We definitely have threads in between ourselves 447 00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:23,195 to build trust. I mean we trust every day that we can 448 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,960 walk outside, is somebody isn't going to hit us with the car 449 00:21:25,995 --> 00:21:27,375 and we trust the sun's going to come up, 450 00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:30,325 we trust that the world's going to keep around us and that we 451 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:33,240 see everyday, we trust that the air is going to be alright 452 00:21:33,275 --> 00:21:36,172 for us to breathe and we try to take another breath. 453 00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:39,070 And all goes on trust. When somebody looks at me, 454 00:21:39,105 --> 00:21:41,755 and says: this is what your problem is, 455 00:21:41,790 --> 00:21:45,220 they don't trust me and I can't trust them back. 456 00:21:45,255 --> 00:21:48,907 They're putting up a barrier because I can walk in 457 00:21:48,942 --> 00:21:52,525 into any situation in a black collar, black tie, 458 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:57,155 event and looking like I am now and be alright with it. 459 00:21:57,190 --> 00:22:01,540 Because the clothes doesn't affect the way I think or feel 460 00:22:01,575 --> 00:22:05,890 or my opinion or view, so it shouldn't affect your opinion of 461 00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:09,800 me. And when they put that wall up, it just tells me 462 00:22:09,835 --> 00:22:11,645 don't build threads with that person, 463 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,635 don't know that person, don't trust that person! 464 00:22:14,670 --> 00:22:19,460 and that was really hard for me because the Bible says: 465 00:22:19,495 --> 00:22:20,955 do not judge, least you'll be judged! 466 00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:24,400 I figure out where it says that, and when they judge me, 467 00:22:24,435 --> 00:22:27,625 I have no choice, but to judge them back. 468 00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:30,030 They judge me. And that's putting a label on them, 469 00:22:30,065 --> 00:22:33,052 which I shouldn't have done in the first place, 470 00:22:33,087 --> 00:22:36,005 but I couldn't help it. I'm only human, too. 471 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,585 I mean, they're only human, I realize that they make 472 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:43,095 mistakes, but some people just on purpose walk out, 473 00:22:43,130 --> 00:22:47,180 stamp and point fingers at people, you did this, this is 474 00:22:47,215 --> 00:22:51,085 your fault and it's pretty hypocritical. 475 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:56,230 Jessica, you are the newest member in this group. 476 00:22:56,265 --> 00:23:01,405 And also with your Christianity. 477 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,055 Yeah. I grew up in a Christian home, 478 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:09,450 but through the years I got involved in other stuff 479 00:23:09,485 --> 00:23:14,395 and now I try to go back into church, 480 00:23:14,430 --> 00:23:18,965 but I failed, I did something wrong. And it just, 481 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:25,155 my hopes tumble down, and I say: well, I'll never be 482 00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:31,275 good enough and it's just hard, and I feel peace when 483 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:39,395 that small moment alone with God. But then something happens, 484 00:23:39,430 --> 00:23:47,480 and I loose hope. But I think it also has to do with the church. 485 00:23:47,515 --> 00:23:54,900 Judging you for stuff that you can't help. 486 00:23:54,935 --> 00:23:58,355 But, I don't know, it's just... 487 00:23:58,390 --> 00:24:02,320 I think that is, I think because as we've kind of talked about 488 00:24:02,355 --> 00:24:05,647 what was before the church, just individuals coming together, 489 00:24:05,682 --> 00:24:08,940 and when they come together, they bring their own individual 490 00:24:08,975 --> 00:24:10,165 problems. 491 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,095 We are the church. 492 00:24:11,130 --> 00:24:13,210 Yeah, exactly. I am the church. 493 00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:14,245 That is a great point. 494 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:18,000 and when we come together, the feeling that you're kind of 495 00:24:18,035 --> 00:24:19,545 describing, I mean, I felt that, too. 496 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:22,430 But as I thought about it, I thought: what if I was that 497 00:24:22,465 --> 00:24:25,305 person, what if I had their set of problems? 498 00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:28,740 And what if I was unwilling to face up to my problems 499 00:24:28,775 --> 00:24:32,140 and I come to church in that mind set? If I see somebody 500 00:24:32,175 --> 00:24:34,987 else that has problems that are, maybe more visible 501 00:24:35,022 --> 00:24:37,800 than mine, it's going to remind me of my problems, 502 00:24:37,835 --> 00:24:39,725 which I don't want to deal with, right? 503 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,295 and so the best way that I can keep from dealing with 504 00:24:42,330 --> 00:24:44,795 my own problems, is to ignore your problems, right? 505 00:24:44,830 --> 00:24:48,970 And so that's what we walk into and it's very discouraging, 506 00:24:49,005 --> 00:24:51,632 because here we are, we want to get some healing, 507 00:24:51,667 --> 00:24:54,728 we want to get some help, but everybody around us, 508 00:24:54,763 --> 00:24:57,755 a lot of people around us, they're playing the game of 509 00:24:57,790 --> 00:25:03,880 I'm fine, I'm really doing right. And I really think that that's 510 00:25:03,915 --> 00:25:07,547 And the sooner that I think it's hard with feelings 511 00:25:07,582 --> 00:25:11,526 or guilt, I mean that our grudge, against yourself, 512 00:25:11,561 --> 00:25:15,435 and which causes people to lash out when that's, 513 00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:17,630 like you said that they don't want to face their own problems 514 00:25:17,665 --> 00:25:19,240 and whenever they see someone that reminds them 515 00:25:19,275 --> 00:25:23,815 of their problems, it's just like... 516 00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:27,120 They laugh at you. Or something, anything, 517 00:25:27,155 --> 00:25:28,695 And you know what's funny? 518 00:25:28,730 --> 00:25:32,085 A lot of times the problems that people really get on other 519 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:35,440 people, I mean paradoxically, is usually the problem that 520 00:25:35,475 --> 00:25:37,860 they have themselves. 521 00:25:37,895 --> 00:25:38,825 Or have had. 522 00:25:38,860 --> 00:25:42,160 And they don't want to remind that they have that 523 00:25:42,195 --> 00:25:45,072 problem. So they just try to those kinds of people. 524 00:25:45,107 --> 00:25:48,113 The people that have the same issue where they.. 525 00:25:48,148 --> 00:25:51,085 Do you know what I found? And just that I was so 526 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:54,685 discouraged about this issue, that, about nobody being real, 527 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,250 the judgement and the fact that I couldn't. Somebody found out 528 00:25:58,285 --> 00:26:02,622 that I smoked and this is 4 years in my Christianity, 529 00:26:02,657 --> 00:26:06,925 I given up heroine and alcohol, a number of things 530 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,685 and I've done a lot of healing but somebody found out that 531 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,410 I smoked and they said that they don't fellowship people that 532 00:26:14,445 --> 00:26:17,245 smoke. And so I ended up leaving for a long time 533 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,000 and now coming back, is that, I didn't mean to scare you Gavin 534 00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:29,520 but now coming back, it's like all the sudden I came back 535 00:26:29,555 --> 00:26:31,525 and God really took care of me coming back, 536 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,775 and He said: please, please, stop looking around. 537 00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:37,990 Please, please, don't let your feelings get hurt. 538 00:26:38,025 --> 00:26:40,685 I love you. This is not a behavioural thing, 539 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,240 I don't judge you, I don't tell you, if you fall one day, 540 00:26:44,275 --> 00:26:47,732 and stand up the next day, all of heaven rejoices. 541 00:26:47,767 --> 00:26:51,190 Thanks for standing back up. And so one of the things 542 00:26:51,225 --> 00:26:52,345 that I want just don't look around! 543 00:26:52,380 --> 00:26:55,950 and then I learned what you said, Jackie, is: wait! 544 00:26:55,985 --> 00:26:58,878 I am the church! And so now, if I, instead of looking 545 00:26:58,913 --> 00:27:01,772 around and I can't believe the church is doing this, 546 00:27:01,807 --> 00:27:04,195 &is like I am not going to do that anymore. 547 00:27:04,230 --> 00:27:07,305 When somebody walks in and they look trash, when somebody 548 00:27:07,340 --> 00:27:10,380 walks in and they look different than me, they seem different 549 00:27:10,415 --> 00:27:12,352 than me, I'm not going to judge them, I'm going to reach 550 00:27:12,387 --> 00:27:16,268 out and try to love them. and so I want to challenge 551 00:27:16,303 --> 00:27:20,115 people as a group just to say that please, please 552 00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:23,550 don't judge people. Please, think about that everything 553 00:27:23,585 --> 00:27:25,970 you do, someone is going to be watching you 554 00:27:26,005 --> 00:27:27,355 and what they're going to hope for, 555 00:27:27,390 --> 00:27:29,895 is that they're going to hope that you're real enough 556 00:27:29,930 --> 00:27:34,000 to let them be real and let the Holly Spirit work for them. 557 00:27:34,035 --> 00:27:37,410 And for you. and so as a church, as a generation, 558 00:27:37,445 --> 00:27:39,215 that is going to bring in the end times, 559 00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:42,100 I believe, please step up and say: I'm not willing anymore 560 00:27:42,135 --> 00:27:44,950 to sit down, I'm not willing anymore to put that mirror up 561 00:27:44,985 --> 00:27:46,570 of what a Christian is supposed to look Ike. 562 00:27:46,605 --> 00:27:49,410 See you next week and thank you!