TEEN PATHWAYS
Hi!
I was just thinking about something.
One thing that as I was walking up and looking at you guys,
I thought that I know each of you a little bit.
And I know where you come from and kind of know the struggles
that you've had, but when you walk up and I look at you, guys,
this group, who knows any of that stuff?
If a stranger was just walking through the path and look at
us, we would just look like a perfect group, that's never
struggled with anything, that's never had anything that was
harder than maybe a test at school? And I know that that's
not true, so today I would like to cover, Bronson, I would like
to cover your life today. If that's ok, just sharing
a little bit with the rest of the group, where do you came
from?How you got, where you got? Just let us get to know you
a little bit more. But before we start,I would like to introduce
us to everybody, and everybody is so unique, I'd like to say and
introduce you, what's your name and say one thing
unique about who you are.
Ok, my name's Nicki Sapmann and I really enjoy playing the piano.
My name is Sarah and I'm devouted to...
My name is Bronson Anderson my dad's 62, my grandfather's
63, but I'm only 511.
My name is Jennifer and I love to eat.
My name is Dominique and I really like animals.
My name is A.J. and I'm the pastor here in True Steps,
and I just really enjoy preaching.
And you really like hearing your preach, because you do it
so much. And is kind of going to be a serious topic today,
we're going to talk about, Bronson, you and your life,
and I want to say just for the benefit of other people,
that haven't really shared exactly where they've come from
and all that, it's not an easy thing to do. And so, I would
like to help you whenever I can, and what I'd like you to start
with in this may sound? to some people, but start
from like the very beginning. Where was your home, like what
was it like groing up and that kind of thing.
Well, from the beginning, I guess I was born in Richmond, Virginia,
on May 19th, 1979 and when I was born, the first tragedy,
I guess, that styarted a tragedy is that my mom was diagnosed
with cancer, she got a? when I was born,
had a tumour. And through then well, shortly after that
they got the cancer out, the tumour out, I guess she was fine,
and shortly after that my mom and my dad separated.
And I didn't know it at that time, I found out afterwords, but
I lived both with my mom and my dad, my mom lived in apartment,
and she always had pretty hair. From what I knew, you know,
but one day, I remember one day, I was pretty little, I guess I
was 4, riding my bike with some friends that I met at the
apartment complex, and my mom get downand her wig fell off.
And she was bald, I guess, because kemoterpy.
I?pretty much, but it wasn't my mom's fault,
then I turned 5 and I was over a friend's house, my dad came up
to me and said: "your mom died. " And it was 4 days before
my 6th birthday. At the time I really didn't know what death
was, or how to even cope with it, as a little kid, I was sheltered
pretty much from that and so I was like: ok, I picked up some
flowers, picked up some wild flowers, I didn't hink?
but. So I went to the funeral home and I thought she was
asleep and then I kind of knew I started to cry a little bit,
the I put thosse wild flowers in her hand.
After that, afer the funeral, and a couple of months later,
my grandfather, my dad's dad was diagnosed with
I think, lung cancer. And he died. So, the relationship
between my dad and me grew stronger because of the 2 deaths.
Do you know, I can imagine that I mean, my mom, or my grandfather
died at that age, and the part that you remember,
just that kind of giving information, the visual stuff,
the way you feel and anything?
It's kind of underscribing a little bit, it's more of a
a gut thing,that's not in your stomach, your throat,
it's that propably you're only feeling that you never see me
again, you guys know that I was 5 years old, 6 years old then
and it was more of a, I don't know, it's...
How old were you when the realization of they're gone
At the time I was going to public schools,
and I was riding on the bus, and one day a friend of mine,
a very good friend of mine, named Chris, came onto me and
he was like: yeah, my mom fixed me some lunch, she cut up a crost
and all that and I kind of thought about it, and then
I just kind of blew off a day and so I was riding home
on the bus and it saddened a little bit
and I think I was like 10, or it just kind of saddened, because
from the time I was 6 till the time I was 10, my dad,
every time I was 14, untill I moved here to Missouri,
my dad was kind of like my mom, and my dad put together
all in one. And it was kind of sheltered, I didn't go to
my mom's funeral, I saw the funeral at home,
or my grandfather's funeral. And that was kind of sheltered
me from, ut.
Your dad ried to protect you from all of that.
Right, he had it. I love him so much for this.
I didn't realize it then, but he had really nice payed job,
it wasn't the best I would have. make cigarettes.
I don't know what he did, but it payed tremendously well.
But he quit his job to go and work at the county.
And I bought places before the county and the county where
he worked at, he worked in the souers?
and just so he can have the nice off to be with me.
in the weekends. And it really amazes me how much
He realized how important it was for you to have a parent there.
Yeah. It's just crazy how...
So it sounds like you spent your life sheltered, your dad really
sheltered you from the pain from the death, the loss of your mom,
even you came back at different times. What happened at 14?
Because you've mentioned untill 14.
Untill 14, my dad, I have to skip back. I'd say around 13
kind of halfway through, 13 and 6 months, I guess,
a friend of the family, I guess, introduced us to the adventist
church and we started going. Because I told my dad,
early on that I'd like to go to church, because before then
I didn't even know what faith we were.
We didn't go to church, we just I guess, did whatever.
Went to the mountains, went to the beach,
whatever we wanted to do on Saturday, so we started going
to church and my pastor there that baptized me was pastor
? and the pastor, his wife was talking to the pastor's wife
in St Louis, Missouri, so they kind of got, we have a single
guy over here and we have a single mom over here.
Well, they exchanged phone numbers, they started talking
all the suden out of the blue they saw each other, I think
3 or 4 times throughout that talking on the phone.
Her name is Ingrid Tomomda and all the sudden they got
married.
Really? So this is like in St. Louis.
Yeah.
I've seen that.
So, I moved here.
You moved here for the marriage, but you said you started
you just started and coming to church
Can you talk a little bit about that? Because that had to be
a process to spiritually coming from nothing to meeting God.
Right. At that time I was going through God knows what.
Through public school, I didn't have much clothes, because
my dad had to work, he didn't make much money,
Was the?
I didn't really have even though my dad, me and my dad were close,
closer than we've ever been in my whole entire life,
so far. I couldn't really talk to him about that.
It was kind of hard. And it was kind of hard situation.
And my brother, my mom's, I guess half brother,
my mom's son, but different dads. He really didn't talk to me
that much about it. And so it was kind of like, now he's
still there, I was going through life just as, I have a few
friends, Chris, Jeremiah, Darrell and they all are good guys, but
I came to church, and it opened up a whole new world for me.
There were friends there, I wasn't being teased because
of the clothes I wore, I only had one suit, but I didn't have
to wear it all the time, it was kind of a contemporate
church, quite packy, he liked to play the guitar
it was a fun church, I mean it opened me up to a lot of things.
And being there, I wasn't made fun of, I wasn't judged,
who I was, because I didn't get my hair cut all the time,
my hair was kind of long and and I didn't brush it that
much. I didn't really care about myself, really.
But they really came through for me.
I mean the church family as a whole.
What's exciting about that kind of thing is, as a memeber of
the church family, I love to hear that, because I think isn't that
what we're here for? Is to have somebody that says
you know, I have all this stuff that you can't even tell,
by looking at me, but just for us to come through for that
and say even if I don't know about where you've come from,
I'm here as a family.
Right. I just thought of something the church really
did for me, or God really did for me, is, I wasn't even,
I didn't know what to think about God really,
I didn't have really any moral values about anything.
And somehow, I think God lets this to us, I don't know
how, I don't think I prayed to Him about it,
or anything, but back to the part where my dad and my new
stepmom got married, in the church, both are adventists,
and my dad, I guess, was praying for this to happen,
and she also was praying for this to happen,
so it's kind of in God's hands, I guess.
But we came here, I finished out my 8th grade year,
I think I was 14 years old then, or 15, I don't remember,
but I finished out my 8th grade year and flew over. I didn't even
I had to leave everybody behind, and that was though.
Even though I had my church family that I've just met,
and all my friends, I don't know, just picking up and leaving like
that. I kind of felt alone, you know.
And also you had your, you just got a new mom.
Yeah.
That must have been though to you, because you just got
accepted into the church and you got a new mom, so
it was a bunch of change at one time.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's true.
Did she have kids?
She had one, Matthew Tomoda, and he, I don't rem,ember what
age he was, much younger than I am. But, I don't know,
Through then, through my mom die untill I was 14,
it was just me and my dad. It was just me and nobody else.
He didn't have time to date anybody, really, he didn't have
time after, he didn't have time during work to take off the work
he had to work to keep things going on, keep the bills payed,
and after work, it was just me. I can remember sometimes
waking up, my dad potting on my door, budging me at 50'clock
in the morning and I'm asleep, He's carrying me out to the car,
we jump in the car, all the sudden wake up on the highway,
lied outside, butbuggyboard at back, beach chairs and
we... for the beach, 15 minutes later, I just woke up.
And it was just weekends like that, that I would miss.
Then we came here, it was the whole new situation.
I have a new stepbrother, that I have to live with,
I have a new stepmom, that I have to live with,
and I have to share this. And especially I have to share
my dad. It was, at first it wasn't that bad,
but then after, after a few months, after they were married,
the realization of not be able to ever do anything from a year
before doing everything with him. Every weekend was just set
for me and him to not doing anything.
So, describe for us now, in the midst of all this change and
adjusting, how does the church and God start to play a role
in your life?
Well, you know, I think God brought Ingrid and my dad
together. But I also, I have to thank to the church congregation
here, because they, it's unbelievable. They welcome me
into their church without any questions.
And just people, my friends that I know here, like Nicki and
Shira,all of you guys, you know, that go to my church,
everybody just...
It sounds like it's pretty cool to have an other family,
we have so many,
I thought I actually was, I didn't earn a church family,
that was just good.
You don't understand, because your story is so similar to my
brother and I, because we came from a pretty tough home life,
and all the sudden we are in Seattle, at this black church,
a 7th day Adventist church, and no revelation seminars,
no crucade, no nothing, it was just a church family, opened up
their arms and just embracing us, inviting us over to eat
after church, feeding us, because bachelors really can't cook,
And that has not changed for years.
One of big things, but I just wholly understand what you're
saying, you have a place to go.
Right. And before then, I was kind of asking God: "why did You
why did You put me into all this bad stuff?" That was happening
between my mom dying, being made fun of every day...
beat up, because I was smaller than everybody else,
the fact that I couldn't read till I was in first grade,
which was normal back then, but not normal now, I guess.
Just stuff like that I got made fun of, why did God put me to
all this? All the sudden I had to move, I have to sit up
I had to pack up and change my whole lifestyle.
I can't leave the door open when I go to bathroom anymore.
This is funny because you'd better think of the little
things.
From what you were telling me, your dad saw her a couple of
times, so you aren't really acquinted with her before
the marriage.
I think I was, I remember seeing her maybe twice.
before I had to move there. And it was just hard.
I get to know her, I feel really bad, because I don't want to
hold on her now. I chose, I think I chose not to.
Telling like saving your heart forget the loss you can't give
her. Right. Sometimes, I have to talk about this, sometimes
I tend to blame her for things, because she took the best thing
in my life, which was my dad. And not only that I have to
share my, if I like him, I had to just cut him off
in my life and grow up very fast. I wasn't prepared for that.
Saying a why thing, you know, why, why, why, why,
and we have talked in previous shows about how God
has this unique ability what He said to Joseph,
what Joseph actually said to his brothers who sold him out,
big time,sent the news back, and he turns to them years later,
because of them selling him out, he could not provide for them,
and he says: "you meant this for evil, but God meant this for the
good, for the saving of many lives. Can you describe to us
any type of a Joseph experience, where all of those why questions
you had in the past, you can see now with your direction
in the church and with God and with your new friends?
Yeah. God opened me up from I sat there and pretty much
was selfish to ask God: "why did You do this?"
Why wasn't there somebody else that had to go through the pain,
why some of my friends that have it all, why can't they go
through the pain that I did. And God did that, I think for me,
and He let me see certain things when I guess He thought it was
my for me, but He...
Do you think if you hadn't stasrted exploring thechurch,
and cracking the doors, as we've said early,
with Jesus knocking in your heart, cracking the door,
where do you think your life would be right now?
I propably, with the temptations I have now,I propably be either
on the street, or dad, basically with the temptations I had
before, and the temptations I have now with drugs and In can't
say I haven't done that, but I'm just saying with the temptations
that I had,I think that's one of my big...
That's what you get and all the anger and all the why
questions.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I guess it's all with growing up,
but I was, I was so angry at everything, at life.
At ingrid, at my dad for marrying her, at her for taking my dad
away, for Matt just for being there, God for doing that,
but I think He gave me the church family to help me out of my
situations. They don't even know what they did in my life.
They don't even know. They did so much for me that it's just
it's unexplainable, like my friends like Nicki and Shira
and Amy, they did so much for me. Especially Jarod.
Can you ellaborate on that, I really don't want to miss that.
Can you ellaborate on that for somebody that says
I don't even know if i'm doing anything for God.
Like Amy you may say that. I don't even know if I'm doing
anything, but having no idea what they did did for you.
Can you say, can you speak and just say: this is what you
did for me just by being who you are.
I mean, can you do that?
There's no words. I don't think I can name all the things,
to you alone, or anybody. All of you have done for me and there is
no words. I mean, all I can do is thanking you guys,
you guys have been there through my time of troubles,
when I was higher than ever. But I mean God gave me, I think
God gave me these people just so I can make it by.
And that's all it was.
I needed to make it.
And that's almost sometimes just almost make it by
untill I can figure out how to like be with my dad again,
or how, I mean, there's going to be a point when you
and your dad will reestablish a relationship, but with
the extrapeople. And I'm sure that God is going to direct that.
And so how do I make it by and till all those things happen,
It's just, if our ecxperinces are'nt anything identical,
which I think that they are, it was just so cool to have one
placein the world where the rest of the week was chaos,
and you had to deal with your ? but ther's this one
place in the world, where you have friends,
who accepted you,who loved you even crack on you.
And you could start from there a new path of healing.
I just, man, I just totally relate to what you're saying.
It was more of, I say, really for me, I mean, when I first
moved here, going to church, I didn't want to.
I mean, I remember when we visited here.
That was my first time. Yeah, it was my first time
with Ingreid and Matthew. The Sabbath that we spent here,
I didn't even go. I don't even know what excuses I made for it.
But I didn't even go, I didn't want to meet new people.
Because in the back of my mind, I kind of felt that these are the
people that I'm going to be staying with.
And I didn't even want to move in here. Even if I wasn't even
told that before. I don't know. Maybe God was telling me that,
to get ready for that. I don't know. But now,
I just can't wait. I can't wait to go to church.
To see everybody, to talk to talk to everybody,
laugh, gaggle, act up in Sabbath schoolif you want to,
it's just great,it's unbelievable feeling.
That someone's there, you know that there is a place to go
that, just doesn't care who you are. Your parents
doesn't matter.
I have to say one thing, it sounds like you went from
to me I think there's a lot of people that believe
when I come to church all the sudden, all that baggage
it's just gone, and it sounds like what you're sharing with
us, is the baggage that's just still there and I need you guys
to be real with me, so that i can figure out how to work through
the baggage while I'm here sitting with you and I may not
even tell you about it. Because I may not want to share that
stuff, I may not feel safe enough, or I may not know
what the nod is yet. But just the factthat you are there
I'm getting through and I'm hanging on,
and I can't wait to come back nexy week, because it gives me
that brake. And so I want to say 2 things.
For this thing, first I want to say Bronson, thanks for sharing
sharing your life with us. What an incredible gift that you've
given us. And the awareness that I don't know the person
that walks through the door of the church and it may be
somebody that's been through a lot, that's lost their mom,
that has to struggle with all kinds of changes in their life,
and they're just wanting to fit somewhere, they're just wanting
to be saved. And God is giving us that ability as a family,
to say you know, let's sit down here, the world may be
out to lunch, but you can be saved here. see you next time
and thanks for joining us on Teen pathways.