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TEEN PATHWAYS

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Hi!

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I was just thinking about
something.

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One thing that as I was walking
up and looking at you guys,

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I thought that I know each of you
a little bit.

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And I know where you come from
and kind of know the struggles

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that you've had, but when you
walk up and I look at you, guys,

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this group, who knows any of
that stuff?

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If a stranger was just walking
through the path and look at

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us, we would just look like
a perfect group, that's never

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struggled with anything, that's
never had anything that was

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harder than maybe a test at
school? And I know that that's

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not true, so today I would like
to cover, Bronson, I would like

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to cover your life today. If
that's ok, just sharing

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a little bit with the rest of
the group, where do you came

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from?How you got, where you got?
Just let us get to know you

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a little bit more. But before we
start,I would like to introduce

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us to everybody, and everybody is
so unique, I'd like to say and

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introduce you, what's your
name and say one thing

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unique about who you are.

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Ok, my name's Nicki Sapmann and
I really enjoy playing the piano.

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My name is Sarah and I'm devouted
to...

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My name is Bronson Anderson
my dad's 62, my grandfather's

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63, but I'm only 511.

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My name is Jennifer
and I love to eat.

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My name is Dominique
and I really like animals.

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My name is A.J. and I'm the
pastor here in True Steps,

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and I just really enjoy
preaching.

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And you really like hearing your
preach, because you do it

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so much. And is kind of going to
be a serious topic today,

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we're going to talk about,
Bronson, you and your life,

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and I want to say just for the
benefit of other people,

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that haven't really shared
exactly where they've come from

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and all that, it's not an easy
thing to do. And so, I would

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like to help you whenever I can,
and what I'd like you to start

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with in this may sound?
to some people, but start

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from like the very beginning.
Where was your home, like what

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was it like groing up and that
kind of thing.

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Well, from the beginning, I guess
I was born in Richmond, Virginia,

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on May 19th, 1979 and when I
was born, the first tragedy,

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I guess, that styarted a tragedy
is that my mom was diagnosed

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with cancer, she got a?
when I was born,

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had a tumour. And through then
well, shortly after that

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they got the cancer out, the
tumour out, I guess she was fine,

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and shortly after that my mom and
my dad separated.

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And I didn't know it at that
time, I found out afterwords, but

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I lived both with my mom and my
dad, my mom lived in apartment,

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and she always had pretty hair.
From what I knew, you know,

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but one day, I remember one day,
I was pretty little, I guess I

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was 4, riding my bike with some
friends that I met at the

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apartment complex, and my mom
get downand her wig fell off.

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And she was bald, I guess,
because kemoterpy.

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I?pretty much,
but it wasn't my mom's fault,

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then I turned 5 and I was over
a friend's house, my dad came up

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to me and said: "your mom
died. " And it was 4 days before

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my 6th birthday. At the time
I really didn't know what death

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was, or how to even cope with it,
as a little kid, I was sheltered

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pretty much from that and so
I was like: ok, I picked up some

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flowers, picked up some wild
flowers, I didn't hink?

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but. So I went to the funeral
home and I thought she was

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asleep and then I kind of knew
I started to cry a little bit,

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the I put thosse wild flowers
in her hand.

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After that, afer the funeral,
and a couple of months later,

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my grandfather, my dad's
dad was diagnosed with

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I think, lung cancer. And he
died. So, the relationship

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between my dad and me grew
stronger because of the 2 deaths.

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Do you know, I can imagine that
I mean, my mom, or my grandfather

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died at that age, and the part
that you remember,

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just that kind of giving
information, the visual stuff,

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the way you feel and anything?

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It's kind of underscribing
a little bit, it's more of a

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a gut thing,that's not in your
stomach, your throat,

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it's that propably you're only
feeling that you never see me

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again, you guys know that I was
5 years old, 6 years old then

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and it was more of a, I don't
know, it's...

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How old were you when the
realization of they're gone

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At the time I was going to
public schools,

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and I was riding on the bus,
and one day a friend of mine,

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a very good friend of mine,
named Chris, came onto me and

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he was like: yeah, my mom fixed
me some lunch, she cut up a crost

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and all that and I kind of
thought about it, and then

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I just kind of blew off a day and
so I was riding home

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on the bus and it saddened
a little bit

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and I think I was like 10, or
it just kind of saddened, because

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from the time I was 6 till the
time I was 10, my dad,

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every time I was 14, untill I
moved here to Missouri,

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my dad was kind of like my mom,
and my dad put together

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all in one. And it was kind of
sheltered, I didn't go to

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my mom's funeral, I saw the
funeral at home,

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or my grandfather's funeral.
And that was kind of sheltered

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me from, ut.

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Your dad ried to protect you
from all of that.

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Right, he had it. I love him
so much for this.

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I didn't realize it then,
but he had really nice payed job,

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it wasn't the best I would have.
make cigarettes.

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I don't know what he did,
but it payed tremendously well.

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But he quit his job to go and
work at the county.

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And I bought places before
the county and the county where

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he worked at, he worked in
the souers?

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and just so he can have the nice
off to be with me.

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in the weekends. And it really
amazes me how much

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He realized how important it was
for you to have a parent there.

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Yeah. It's just crazy how...

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So it sounds like you spent your
life sheltered, your dad really

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sheltered you from the pain from
the death, the loss of your mom,

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even you came back at different
times. What happened at 14?

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Because you've mentioned untill
14.

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Untill 14, my dad, I have to skip
back. I'd say around 13

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kind of halfway through,
13 and 6 months, I guess,

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a friend of the family, I guess,
introduced us to the adventist

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church and we started going.
Because I told my dad,

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early on that I'd like to go
to church, because before then

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I didn't even know what faith
we were.

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We didn't go to church,
we just I guess, did whatever.

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Went to the mountains, went
to the beach,

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whatever we wanted to do on
Saturday, so we started going

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to church and my pastor there
that baptized me was pastor

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? and the pastor, his wife
was talking to the pastor's wife

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in St Louis, Missouri, so they
kind of got, we have a single

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guy over here and we have a
single mom over here.

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Well, they exchanged phone
numbers, they started talking

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all the suden out of the blue
they saw each other, I think

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3 or 4 times throughout that
talking on the phone.

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Her name is Ingrid Tomomda
and all the sudden they got

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married.

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Really? So this is like in
St. Louis.

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Yeah.

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I've seen that.

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So, I moved here.

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You moved here for the marriage,
but you said you started

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you just started and coming
to church

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Can you talk a little bit about
that? Because that had to be

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a process to spiritually coming
from nothing to meeting God.

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Right. At that time I was going
through God knows what.

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Through public school, I didn't
have much clothes, because

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my dad had to work, he didn't
make much money,

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Was the?

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I didn't really have even though
my dad, me and my dad were close,

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closer than we've ever been in
my whole entire life,

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so far. I couldn't really talk
to him about that.

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It was kind of hard. And it was
kind of hard situation.

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And my brother, my mom's,
I guess half brother,

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my mom's son, but different dads.
He really didn't talk to me

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that much about it. And so it
was kind of like, now he's

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still there, I was going through
life just as, I have a few

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friends, Chris, Jeremiah, Darrell
and they all are good guys, but

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I came to church, and it opened
up a whole new world for me.

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There were friends there,
I wasn't being teased because

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of the clothes I wore, I only had
one suit, but I didn't have

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to wear it all the time,
it was kind of a contemporate

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church, quite packy, he liked
to play the guitar

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it was a fun church, I mean it
opened me up to a lot of things.

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And being there, I wasn't made
fun of, I wasn't judged,

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who I was, because I didn't get
my hair cut all the time,

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my hair was kind of long and
and I didn't brush it that

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much. I didn't really care
about myself, really.

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But they really came through
for me.

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I mean the church family as
a whole.

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What's exciting about that kind
of thing is, as a memeber of

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the church family, I love to hear
that, because I think isn't that

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what we're here for? Is to
have somebody that says

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you know, I have all this stuff
that you can't even tell,

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by looking at me, but just for
us to come through for that

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and say even if I don't know
about where you've come from,

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I'm here as a family.

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Right. I just thought of
something the church really

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did for me, or God really did
for me, is, I wasn't even,

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I didn't know what to think about
God really,

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I didn't have really any moral
values about anything.

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And somehow, I think God
lets this to us, I don't know

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how, I don't think I prayed
to Him about it,

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or anything, but back to the
part where my dad and my new

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stepmom got married, in the
church, both are adventists,

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and my dad, I guess, was praying
for this to happen,

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and she also was praying for
this to happen,

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so it's kind of in God's hands,
I guess.

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But we came here, I finished out
my 8th grade year,

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I think I was 14 years old then,
or 15, I don't remember,

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but I finished out my 8th grade
year and flew over. I didn't even

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I had to leave everybody behind,
and that was though.

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Even though I had my church
family that I've just met,

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and all my friends, I don't know,
just picking up and leaving like

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that. I kind of felt alone, you
know.

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And also you had your, you just
got a new mom.

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Yeah.

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That must have been though to
you, because you just got

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accepted into the church and
you got a new mom, so

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it was a bunch of change at one
time.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, it's true.

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Did she have kids?

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She had one, Matthew Tomoda,
and he, I don't rem,ember what

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age he was, much younger than
I am. But, I don't know,

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Through then, through my mom die
untill I was 14,

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it was just me and my dad.
It was just me and nobody else.

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He didn't have time to date
anybody, really, he didn't have

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time after, he didn't have time
during work to take off the work

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he had to work to keep things
going on, keep the bills payed,

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and after work, it was just me.
I can remember sometimes

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waking up, my dad potting on
my door, budging me at 50'clock

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in the morning and I'm asleep,
He's carrying me out to the car,

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we jump in the car, all the
sudden wake up on the highway,

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lied outside, butbuggyboard at
back, beach chairs and

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we... for the beach, 15 minutes
later, I just woke up.

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And it was just weekends like
that, that I would miss.

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Then we came here, it was the
whole new situation.

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I have a new stepbrother,
that I have to live with,

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I have a new stepmom, that I
have to live with,

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and I have to share this.
And especially I have to share

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my dad. It was, at first it
wasn't that bad,

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but then after, after a few
months, after they were married,

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the realization of not be able to
ever do anything from a year

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before doing everything with
him. Every weekend was just set

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for me and him to not doing
anything.

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So, describe for us now, in the
midst of all this change and

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adjusting, how does the church
and God start to play a role

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in your life?

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Well, you know, I think God
brought Ingrid and my dad

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together. But I also, I have to
thank to the church congregation

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here, because they, it's
unbelievable. They welcome me

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into their church without any
questions.

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And just people, my friends that
I know here, like Nicki and

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Shira,all of you guys, you know,
that go to my church,

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everybody just...

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It sounds like it's pretty cool
to have an other family,

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we have so many,

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I thought I actually was, I
didn't earn a church family,

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that was just good.

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You don't understand, because
your story is so similar to my

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brother and I, because we came
from a pretty tough home life,

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and all the sudden we are in
Seattle, at this black church,

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a 7th day Adventist church,
and no revelation seminars,

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no crucade, no nothing, it was
just a church family, opened up

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their arms and just embracing us,
inviting us over to eat

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after church, feeding us, because
bachelors really can't cook,

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And that has not changed for
years.

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One of big things, but I just
wholly understand what you're

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saying, you have a place to go.

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Right. And before then, I was
kind of asking God: "why did You

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why did You put me into all this
bad stuff?" That was happening

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between my mom dying, being made
fun of every day...

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beat up, because I was smaller
than everybody else,

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00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:39,525
the fact that I couldn't read
till I was in first grade,

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which was normal back then,
but not normal now, I guess.

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Just stuff like that I got made
fun of, why did God put me to

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all this? All the sudden I had
to move, I have to sit up

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I had to pack up and change my
whole lifestyle.

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I can't leave the door open when
I go to bathroom anymore.

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This is funny because you'd
better think of the little

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things.

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00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:12,890
From what you were telling me,
your dad saw her a couple of

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00:19:12,925 --> 00:19:16,160
times, so you aren't really
acquinted with her before

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00:19:16,195 --> 00:19:16,925
the marriage.

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00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,915
I think I was, I remember seeing
her maybe twice.

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00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:24,835
before I had to move there.
And it was just hard.

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I get to know her, I feel really
bad, because I don't want to

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hold on her now. I chose, I
think I chose not to.

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Telling like saving your heart
forget the loss you can't give

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00:19:38,865 --> 00:19:47,025
her. Right. Sometimes, I have
to talk about this, sometimes

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I tend to blame her for things,
because she took the best thing

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in my life, which was my dad.
And not only that I have to

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share my, if I like him, I had to
just cut him off

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in my life and grow up very fast.
I wasn't prepared for that.

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Saying a why thing, you know,
why, why, why, why,

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and we have talked in previous
shows about how God

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has this unique ability what He
said to Joseph,

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00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:26,440
what Joseph actually said to his
brothers who sold him out,

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00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:30,597
big time,sent the news back,
and he turns to them years later,

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because of them selling him out,
he could not provide for them,

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and he says: "you meant this for
evil, but God meant this for the

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good, for the saving of many
lives. Can you describe to us

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00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:45,540
any type of a Joseph experience,
where all of those why questions

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you had in the past, you can see
now with your direction

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in the church and with God and
with your new friends?

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Yeah. God opened me up from
I sat there and pretty much

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was selfish to ask God: "why did
You do this?"

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Why wasn't there somebody else
that had to go through the pain,

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00:21:07,635 --> 00:21:13,742
why some of my friends that
have it all, why can't they go

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00:21:13,777 --> 00:21:19,998
through the pain that I did.
And God did that, I think for me,

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00:21:20,033 --> 00:21:26,220
and He let me see certain things
when I guess He thought it was

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00:21:26,255 --> 00:21:33,685
my for me, but He...

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Do you think if you hadn't
stasrted exploring thechurch,

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00:21:41,045 --> 00:21:42,935
and cracking the doors, as we've
said early,

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00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:45,520
with Jesus knocking in your
heart, cracking the door,

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00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:47,845
where do you think your life
would be right now?

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00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:54,385
I propably, with the temptations
I have now,I propably be either

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00:21:54,420 --> 00:22:00,890
on the street, or dad, basically
with the temptations I had

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00:22:00,925 --> 00:22:06,812
before, and the temptations I
have now with drugs and In can't

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00:22:06,847 --> 00:22:12,700
say I haven't done that, but I'm
just saying with the temptations

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00:22:12,735 --> 00:22:17,885
that I had,I think that's one
of my big...

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00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,730
That's what you get and all
the anger and all the why

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00:22:21,765 --> 00:22:22,815
questions.

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00:22:22,850 --> 00:22:26,310
Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I
guess it's all with growing up,

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00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:34,755
but I was, I was so angry at
everything, at life.

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00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:41,530
At ingrid, at my dad for marrying
her, at her for taking my dad

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00:22:41,565 --> 00:22:49,995
away, for Matt just for being
there, God for doing that,

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00:22:50,030 --> 00:22:56,045
but I think He gave me the church
family to help me out of my

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00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:01,820
situations. They don't even
know what they did in my life.

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00:23:01,855 --> 00:23:06,667
They don't even know. They did
so much for me that it's just

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00:23:06,702 --> 00:23:11,480
it's unexplainable, like my
friends like Nicki and Shira

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00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:18,125
and Amy, they did so much for me.
Especially Jarod.

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00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,660
Can you ellaborate on that, I
really don't want to miss that.

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00:23:19,695 --> 00:23:22,937
Can you ellaborate on that
for somebody that says

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00:23:22,972 --> 00:23:26,145
I don't even know if i'm doing
anything for God.

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00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:29,490
Like Amy you may say that.
I don't even know if I'm doing

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00:23:29,525 --> 00:23:32,782
anything, but having no idea
what they did did for you.

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00:23:32,817 --> 00:23:36,040
Can you say, can you speak
and just say: this is what you

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00:23:36,075 --> 00:23:38,160
did for me just by being who you
are.

309
00:23:38,195 --> 00:23:39,855
I mean, can you do that?

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00:23:39,890 --> 00:23:48,585
There's no words. I don't think
I can name all the things,

311
00:23:48,620 --> 00:23:53,880
to you alone, or anybody. All of
you have done for me and there is

312
00:23:53,915 --> 00:23:57,277
no words. I mean, all I can do is
thanking you guys,

313
00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,605
you guys have been there
through my time of troubles,

314
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:12,720
when I was higher than ever.
But I mean God gave me, I think

315
00:24:12,755 --> 00:24:19,090
God gave me these people just
so I can make it by.

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00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,297
And that's all it was.

317
00:24:21,332 --> 00:24:23,435
I needed to make it.

318
00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:25,015
And that's almost sometimes
just almost make it by

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00:24:25,050 --> 00:24:30,250
untill I can figure out how to
like be with my dad again,

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00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:32,612
or how, I mean, there's going
to be a point when you

321
00:24:32,647 --> 00:24:34,905
and your dad will reestablish
a relationship, but with

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00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:38,820
the extrapeople. And I'm sure
that God is going to direct that.

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00:24:38,855 --> 00:24:44,402
And so how do I make it by
and till all those things happen,

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00:24:44,437 --> 00:24:48,733
It's just, if our ecxperinces
are'nt anything identical,

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00:24:48,768 --> 00:24:53,030
which I think that they are,
it was just so cool to have one

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00:24:53,065 --> 00:24:56,872
placein the world where the rest
of the week was chaos,

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00:24:56,907 --> 00:25:00,680
and you had to deal with your
? but ther's this one

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00:25:00,715 --> 00:25:03,015
place in the world, where you
have friends,

329
00:25:03,050 --> 00:25:07,555
who accepted you,who loved you
even crack on you.

330
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:11,390
And you could start from there
a new path of healing.

331
00:25:11,425 --> 00:25:18,172
I just, man, I just totally
relate to what you're saying.

332
00:25:18,207 --> 00:25:24,920
It was more of, I say, really
for me, I mean, when I first

333
00:25:24,955 --> 00:25:26,690
moved here, going to church,
I didn't want to.

334
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:32,705
I mean, I remember when we
visited here.

335
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:38,005
That was my first time.
Yeah, it was my first time

336
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,685
with Ingreid and Matthew. The
Sabbath that we spent here,

337
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,440
I didn't even go. I don't even
know what excuses I made for it.

338
00:25:46,475 --> 00:25:49,860
But I didn't even go, I didn't
want to meet new people.

339
00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:55,590
Because in the back of my mind,
I kind of felt that these are the

340
00:25:55,625 --> 00:25:56,415
people that I'm going to be
staying with.

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00:25:56,450 --> 00:25:59,255
And I didn't even want to move
in here. Even if I wasn't even

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00:25:59,290 --> 00:26:02,060
told that before. I don't know.
Maybe God was telling me that,

343
00:26:02,095 --> 00:26:06,837
to get ready for that. I don't
know. But now,

344
00:26:06,872 --> 00:26:10,341
I just can't wait. I can't wait
to go to church.

345
00:26:10,376 --> 00:26:13,775
To see everybody, to talk
to talk to everybody,

346
00:26:13,810 --> 00:26:17,620
laugh, gaggle, act up in Sabbath
schoolif you want to,

347
00:26:17,655 --> 00:26:24,835
it's just great,it's
unbelievable feeling.

348
00:26:24,870 --> 00:26:29,370
That someone's there, you know
that there is a place to go

349
00:26:29,405 --> 00:26:36,350
that, just doesn't care who you
are. Your parents

350
00:26:36,385 --> 00:26:39,515
doesn't matter.

351
00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:42,625
I have to say one thing,
it sounds like you went from

352
00:26:42,660 --> 00:26:44,940
to me I think there's a lot
of people that believe

353
00:26:44,975 --> 00:26:47,185
when I come to church all the
sudden, all that baggage

354
00:26:47,220 --> 00:26:49,935
it's just gone, and it sounds
like what you're sharing with

355
00:26:49,970 --> 00:26:53,010
us, is the baggage that's just
still there and I need you guys

356
00:26:53,045 --> 00:26:56,050
to be real with me, so that i can
figure out how to work through

357
00:26:56,085 --> 00:26:59,202
the baggage while I'm here
sitting with you and I may not

358
00:26:59,237 --> 00:27:02,320
even tell you about it. Because
I may not want to share that

359
00:27:02,355 --> 00:27:05,617
stuff, I may not feel safe
enough, or I may not know

360
00:27:05,652 --> 00:27:08,880
what the nod is yet. But just
the factthat you are there

361
00:27:08,915 --> 00:27:10,885
I'm getting through and I'm
hanging on,

362
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,860
and I can't wait to come back
nexy week, because it gives me

363
00:27:13,895 --> 00:27:16,355
that brake. And so I want to say
2 things.

364
00:27:16,390 --> 00:27:19,350
For this thing, first I want to
say Bronson, thanks for sharing

365
00:27:19,385 --> 00:27:22,310
sharing your life with us. What
an incredible gift that you've

366
00:27:22,345 --> 00:27:25,157
given us. And the awareness
that I don't know the person

367
00:27:25,192 --> 00:27:28,141
that walks through the door
of the church and it may be

368
00:27:28,176 --> 00:27:31,148
somebody that's been through
a lot, that's lost their mom,

369
00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:33,841
that has to struggle with all
kinds of changes in their life,

370
00:27:33,876 --> 00:27:37,668
and they're just wanting to fit
somewhere, they're just wanting

371
00:27:37,703 --> 00:27:41,460
to be saved. And God is giving
us that ability as a family,

372
00:27:41,495 --> 00:27:44,577
to say you know, let's sit down
here, the world may be

373
00:27:44,612 --> 00:27:47,660
out to lunch, but you can be
saved here. see you next time

374
00:27:47,695 --> 00:27:51,160
and thanks for joining us on
Teen pathways.